On Life

All of these excerpts are from our second interview.  We shared a lot about our philosophies on life.  I have omitted all of the personal and private themes, below are the skeletal remains.  These pictures are of the landscape at Seven Springs Farm.  Their purpose is to offer the viewer an image of what was going on around Rosemary and I as we talked.

"My friend  is from Ghana, and she speaks Ashanti, and Ga, and Tre, and, like, three or four others, she speaks six or seven languages."

"She’s at Hollins?"

"No, she, um, her husband lived in Ghana for a while.  She’s from Accra, just like, just like Kusun.  And then, they got married, and then he moved back here, and then she came a couple of years later, so, she lives here now.  But, she misses Ghana, she says it’s really different here. And she says that in Ghana it’s just really friendly, and everybody is really open, and people just leave the doors to their houses open, and they say that people can just come over and just eat with them anytime.  And it’s really loud, and she says everybody’s always partying, and they talk really loudly, and they just have a lot of fun!  And she says that here she feels very isolated, and she feels like she doesn’t really know her neighbors very well, and people are really quiet, and not as giving and friendly."

"Well, I think that Kusun kind of had a culture shock moving down there."

"Yeah, I think anybody would get culture shock going anywhere!  It’s very hard."

"[A member of Kusun] said he went down to the corner store, and he was buying something, and these teenage boys came in and one of them pulled a gun on the other one, and they were joking. But he was using a real gun, and he was joking, but it just freaked [him] out.  He started giving the guy more and more money, like he started giving him way too much money…"

"That would freak me out."

"Me too."

"I would…That doesn’t seem weird to me."

"Yeah…it’s sad, to me, to have so much fear going around that, that we can’t keep that friendliness and community feeling and all in our cites, like..."

"There is a lot of fear, I think we’re ruled by fear, very Machiavellin, Machiavellian."

"I don’t know what that is."

"Oh, Machiavelli basically says, rule by fear, ends justify the means, like your subjects should be afraid of you, so that you can control them, annnnd…um, do whatever you have to do to get ahead, to get to where you wanna’ be, to get to your goal, even if it’s killing people, pillaging, doing terrible things, it doesn’t matter, as long as you get what you want in the end."

"That sounds like what a lot of corporations are doing."

"Yeah."

"Or the people who run them, anyway, because making decisions like that…And then, what is, what’s your reward?  Is happiness in there?"

"Whatever you decide your reward is, I guess.  Um, I think usually the reward is money, or power, I don’t usually think it’s about happiness.  I don’t think Machiavelli talks about happiness very much."

(laughs)  "Doesn’t sound like it."

"No, because nobody’s happy…like that…not even the people who get power, power isn’t happiness, at all."

"I wouldn’t think so.  Well, it depends on what kind of power you’re talking about. Power over isn’t happy, power, just, ya’ know, able to affect your life the way you want."

"Right, being in control of one’s self, I think, produces happiness.  But having power over other people…it’s not healthy, it can’t possibly…"

"It’s uncomfortable to me!  (laughs) I don’t like being the boss.  I really don’t like being the boss at all, I kind of wish I could get out of it...Well, we have 2 employees of the CSA, and then there’s 2 apprentices.  So I am the boss."

We have been talking our different relationships.

"And I’m friends with everybody else.  And I [...] which is good, it’s nice.  But I’m friends with most people, also, just me as a person.  I’ve never been friends with anybody, and then suddenly not been friends with them.  Most of the people I dislike being around, I’ve never liked being around them, so, and that’s OK too, ‘cause I don’t have to be around them."

"It’s interesting, there’s people that I don’t particularly like, that’s not true, I have a weird, I feel sort of creepy around them or I have a weird energy feeling, but I don’t dislike them and I think they’re a fine person. And yet I don’t like, I just don’t like, I just an energetic thing, it’s like I don’t even have anything against them. I have several people I know like that, I just don’t wanna’ be around them, but there’s nothing wrong with them."

"And I think that’s OK, and I think it’s really important to pay attention to that, for sure. Like, if you don’t wanna’ be around somebody, you should not be around them. Because it doesn’t mean they’re bad, it just means that, ya’ know, there’s something about your energy and their energy together, that could be…bad."

"Yeah, it makes it really hard to do something, communicate, or whatever."

" I think it’s good that you pay attention to that."

"Yeah, I do, too."

"I’m still working on that…"

(laughs)  "It’s hard when it’s someone that is in your life, whether you like it or not, and then you sort of have to…"

"Like a family member, or co-worker…"

"Then you can’t ignore it…It feels good to not, to get out of thinking, 'I don’t like this person, or this person is acting strange, or acting bad, or something.'  And to just say, 'They’re fine, I’m fine, there’s just an energy weirdness between us, and that can happen.'"

"Right.  (laughs)  And that’s OK, yeah."

"Instead of to think bad thoughts about them, ya’ know?"

"Yep, recognizing that, that, ya’ know, “I have a part in it, too.”

"Right, yeah."

"That’s good."

"…it’s not all me.  Sometimes you can think, convince yourself of that, too.  'What’s wrong with me that I don’t like them and they’re so fine, OK?'”

“'They’re so fine, they’re so nice!  (R laughing)  Something’s wrong with me!'  No, that’s not true, definitely not… What else do you want me to talk about, or do you want to talk about, like what, I don’t know, what is important in your life that we haven’t talked about, or you want to talk about more?!"

"What is important in my life?…Hum, hum…"

"This must be a hard question."  (laughs)

"That we haven’t, well, what’s important in my life is gardening, and playing music, and singing and dancing, and, having fun is important.  And under having fun there’s a lot of stuff, it doesn’t mean getting drunk, ‘cause I don’t like getting drunk for one thing." (laughs)

"Well, then you shouldn’t."

"But I mean, having fun doing what I’m doing, like really enjoying what I do, and creating a life that…that allows me to really enjoy what I do and doesn’t have me doing a lot of stuff that I don’t want to do.  (cough)  I feel really grateful and lucky that I have a job that allows me to be outside, and it’s such profound work, and I, it’s so meaningful, I don’t ever question what I’m doing with my life, ‘cause I know what I’m doing is really great.  And I get to work in a beautiful environment, and I get to do really good work."

"And you like it!"

"And I like it, yeah.  And I feel really grateful, I mean, I can understand how it might be hard to pick professions that satisfy all that.  That is something that you really believe in, you feel like you’re doing some good in the world."

"That you make a difference."

"All that stuff.  And so, I, this kind of work just answers a lot of that."

"That’s really beautiful."

"Yeah, I feel lucky."

"That’s how I feel about doula work."

"Yes, exactly, yeah, that’s right.  Its so incred[ible.]  It’s one of the most important types of work, assisting birth."

"Yeah, I mean, it’s the beginning.  And I think, I mean, I think that birth in America is just…it’s really sad.  And it’s really medical, and it’s very controlled by men…"

"And it creates, it interferes with the bonding process.  I think that’s one of the saddest things about it."

"And, I mean, if a woman doesn’t feel good about her birth, then that really affects her, especially postpartum, and then it turns into, she doesn’t feel good about herself, and she, ya’ know, I mean, I don’t know, just the way doctors word things, like, 'Well, um, your pelvis is too small, so it’s not opening up enough, so you have to have a C-section.'  Or, 'Well, you’re not progressing like you’re supposed to be, so we have to give you pitocin.'  And all these messages are, 'There’s something wrong with your body.'  So women think, 'There’s something wrong with me, there’s something wrong with my body, I can’t do this…'”
"Good thing the medical profession is here to save me."

"Yeah.  But, I mean, it’s totally like losing control and not being able to make decisions for oneself.  And then we expect women to go and make all the decisions for themselves and for their babies, and that’s really hard to do if you don’t feel like you’re doing anything right, ya’ know?"

"Yeah!"

"And, I think that if babies came into the world naturally and beautifully, then I mean, that’s their very first perception of the world outside of their mother’s womb, and I think that’s really important…"

"First impression of anything is important."

"…very positive, and for there to be good energy, and for the mom not to be so doped up that she passes out, or she can’t-ya’ know?  Because if you’re on drugs, you can’t connect with people-at all!  And if all these moms are giving birth on drugs, then-I mean, there’s a lot of controversy as to what drugs affect babies and what passes to the placenta and what doesn’t, but I mean, I think even if medication doesn’t pass to the baby through the placenta, there’s still the energy, there’s still the energy of not being able to complete thoughts, or just, ya’ know, whatever."

"The blood is still going from the mother to the baby right before birth?"

"Oh, yeah, and after the birth, until the cord is cut."

"So if you have a drug, it’s going in your blood, it’s going in there, it would seem like."

(whispering)   "But, ya’ know, the medical profession tries to change it so it’s not so bad...Well, I guess we should probably stop.  But I’m really glad you feel good about what you’re doing, because what people eat is really important.  I mean, what we put into our bodies, that’s really important."

"Yeah, so, it’s a great system, and I get to meet the people that get the food."

"And we get to meet where our food comes from, yeah, it’s a nice cycle.  I’m so glad that I’m a member of your CSA."

"Well, good.  Me too."

...